i'm back... and i'm taking control.

I know I haven't been very consistent with my blog.  I was kind of afraid this would happen.  You see, when I begin to feel obligated to write my blog (an obligation that comes from my own mind... no one actually make me feel this way), I immediately don't want to.  So I don't.  That, on top of family and friends visiting in June/July, dealing with my husband's decision to quit his job in July, going on three mini-vacations in the month of August and my computer being out of commission for a couple weeks... wait, what was I writing about?  Oh yes, my excuses.  Basically, I've been very busy and when I take into account my list of priorities, this blog, unfortunately, is on the lower end.

But... I am back  (and hopefully with a little more consistency).  I am also taking control...

Taking control of what? you say, in eager anticipation.  

Well, I have decided I am tired of feeling embarrassed about my body, so I am doing something about it.  Friday night, after much thought, I joined Weight Watchers.  I had joined WW about a month after my son was born when I noticed that my post-baby weight loss was slowing down.  I was already weighing more than I was comfortable with when I found out I was pregnant, and after gaining 50lbs during my pregnancy, I knew I needed a little extra help.  I ended up losing all my baby weight plus 10lbs with the help of WW.  But... (there's always a but) I began to get really REALLY hungry when Jacob hit about 5 months, which was when he was nursing a lot; going through a growth spurt but not yet on solids. I was trying to stay within my points, but found myself struggling.  I'm sure if I had been smarter about food choices, I could have found more filling options, but I was a brand new mom that didn't always take the time I needed to plan healthy meals and soon decided that I would quite the program but still try to do it on my own.  Right, like that was going to happen.  Fast forward to 3 years later, and here I am.  Over weight and unhappy, because I know I can be healthier.

So Friday night I decided to take back control of my health, and I am hoping to use this blog to keep me accountable.  I am unhealthy and need to lose weight - that's just a fact.  I know I have had 2 kids, and I think women especially like to make each other feel better by saying things like, "But you've had 2 kids!  Of course you're not going to have a perfect body!", but having kids is no excuse for letting your health go.  I've seen women who have had babies and are rocking a bikini months later.  Do genetics have something to do with it?  Maybe a little, especially when it comes to stretch marks, but the reality is that those mamas can rock their bikinis because they work for it.  They eat healthy, they exercise.  I eat crap and sit on my couch wishing I were healthier.  But all that is changing.

I chose WW because it worked for me once, and I know it will again ESPECIALLY if I stick with it.  I have tried just "watching what I eat" but that usually lasts only a few days.  The unique thing about WW is a) you pay to join, which motivates you to do well, otherwise you're wasting your money (or at least it does for me), and b) you have to think about everything you eat, because everything has a value (except for most fruits and veggies).  I ate mindlessly before.  If I was hungry, I ate.  Sometimes it was healthy... sometimes it wasn't, but the majority of the time it was without thinking, which usually lead to overeating.  I could open a box of Wheat Thins and the next thing I knew, the box was almost empty.  With WW I need to consider what I am eating, how much I should eat, and if what I am eating is worth the points.  And hopefully, with writing about my weight loss journey on here, I will have extra motivation, because all 4 people who actually read this will be on pins and needles every week to see if I lost.  Ok, maybe not really, but in my head the entire internet will be waiting and watching... O.o

So that being said, while contemplating writing this blog, I was thinking, "Oh, maybe I'll just talk about my successes, struggles, maybe do a little weight loss updates... but there is NO WAY I will post my actual weight".  Honestly, it's embarrassing.  I think most people would be surprised with my start weight.  But I feel like if I want to be successful, people should know where I am.  So I am going to do what no women in their right mind would ever do: I am going to post my weight on the internet, for anyone to see.  Eeek... I think I almost passed out.  This isn't easy for me... but hopefully this will further motivate me, and who knows?  Maybe I'll inspire others.  Or maybe I'll just melt into a puddle of embarrassment.  We'll see.

Alright, here are my stats as of Friday, Sept 7th (I'll be weigh myself on Fridays).

Current Weight: 190.7lbs

Weight lost this week: n/a

Total weight lost: n/a

Goal weight: 155lbs

My before picture.  I haven't taken an official one (I'll try to do that this week) but this was taken a few weeks ago.  I am sucking my stomach in as much as possible and I still have some tummy spilling over the strap of my my friend's Ergo.  Oh my.

Well, there it is.  Let the melting begin...

~ Mama Frenchy