cheater, cheater, junk food eater

I cheated big time last night.

Big time.

It was dinner time, and I was out an about with my kids.  I called my husband to let him know I was coming home.  He said, "Hey, do you just want to make life easier and pick something up for us?"

Ok, I knew in my head that I had about 8 points left for the day.  There isn't much you can get at a fast food place that is satisfying and only 8 points.  I told him maybe I'd grab something for him and the kids, but not for me (see, I started out with good intentions!)  He decided on Taco Bell, so I headed over there.  As I was in the drive through, I noticed their new cantina bowls.  They looked healthy, AND there was a veggie option, so I ordered that for myself.  Once I got home and actually began eating it, I quickly realized 2 things: 1) "veggie" just means they leave off the meat... there are no actually veggies on it other than the corn salsa and pico de gallo, and 2) that this item was definitely not as healthy as the picture lead me to believe.  Note to self: just because something has lettuce does not mean it will be healthy.

But of course, I ate it anyway.  All of it.  It was pretty tasty...

And then I ate my daughter's cheese roll up.  Because she wouldn't eat it.

And then I ate the extra cheese roll up that I thought my son would like but didn't touch.

Oh, and did I mention I stole my husband's nacho cheese sauce and dipped both cheese roll ups in it?  Yeah, that happened.

Right now you're probably saying, "Well... that's not TOO bad.  Everyone can cheat a little every once in a while.  Don't be so hard on yourself."

You're too kind, but unfortunately it doesn't stop there.  An hour later I started craving something sweet.  The Halloween candy that I bought Monday night was calling to me.  Normally, I try to buy stuff I don't like. And I mostly did this time... but there was a bag of fun size Milky Way bars just calling my name.  I mean, come on, they're FUN size.  Fun.  I love fun.  And chocolate.  So I took a handful.  And then another handful... and another.  And quite possibly another.

Oh, and the best part?  I definitely didn't track any of this.

This is an all time low for me in my journey to being healthier, which is why I am writing about it right now.  I'm not perfect.  I'm trying to do my best, but as someone much greater than I once said, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."  I've decided not to dwell on this.  I'm moving past this, and I will do better the rest of this week.

PHEW... so good to get that all off my chest.  I guess we'll see what Friday has in store for me soon!